As surprising as it is...
12-6-2021
I have definetly moved on from it. Drum Major is is the past.
Now however, I have this person in my head who is everything that I feel and who I want to be. Everything that should be on the outside, but isn't. This person feels more like me than I feel like myself. The way I feel like I should look, How I want to look. It pains me that every second of every passing day I am reminded that I am hiding. I am hiding from the world involuntarily because I have no other option, other than to wait. To wait and hope that some magical pills can turn me into the girl in the head. But it won't.
Deep down I know it wont. Im afriad I will need it to work. But it wont. Im becoming confinced that this girl in my head will never see the light of day, despite her begging to finally be let out.
It feels silly to pretend I could be this person when I already know that this person is actually me. But no one will see me like that.
No matter what I do.
To think that all the problems in my life right now are caused just because I had to have a stupid body in a stupid society.